(Both pride if I succeed and some guilt if I don't, guilt or self blame)
Very hard to take
Advice & Tips:
Working to establish a regular schedule has been a goal of mine for a long time and I was not very good at it for quite a while except when it came to medication compliance, going to my weekly appointments with my psychotherapist or bi-monthly visits (or less if not scheduled) with my p-doc and appointments in general.
What took longer and patience to establish were personal hygiene, taking the initiative to call or email friends (ones I had lost contact with and still have to keep up the initiative without feeling like there's something wrong with me if they don't.) I also am currently finding it easier and easier to take small corners of my house that need organizing and taking the time to just focus on that area until I have either found out whether I need everything in that pile or shelf or shelves or drawer and if not either find a different more appropriate place for it, throw it away or put in thrift box if I don't need it and it is still usable and in good condition.
Just those things are hugely helpful in improving my mood, feelings of self-worth, the enjoyment in living in a more and more livable home --- knowing where things are and knowing that the areas that I haven't got to will be gotten to when I finish with the present project. I also take into account that not being a "Type A" person doesn't mean I can't develop my own way and degree of neatness at any one time. It does me no good to compare myself to others who are type A; it just makes me feel defeated before I've even tried.
Like I said. This is something I have been working on a long time. My entire adult life really but only in the last few years has my hard work to get better mentally and emotionally freed my energies up to work on this part of my life. I knew it would only enhance my mood and feelings of self-worth but you can't as the old saying goes, "Put the cart before the horse." The horse in an ill person's case is their most grievous wounds to what prevents them from moving forward. Once the horse is healthy or at least healthier, you can think about loading the cart with first small amounts and seeing how the horse can deal with it. Then you go from there. Sometimes you'll be able to pull large loads and sometimes much smaller ones or none at all in the case of an all out breakdown.
I hope this makes sense to anyone else who reads this. I has helped me to write it down and remind myself what it is I mean by "establishing a regular schedule."
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