Jul 30, 2010
(Started Jun 22, 2010)
(for Treat my mood condition(s))
(for attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder)
(for problems concentrating)
Not at all hard to take
Advice & Tips:
Definitely give this a try. I've been under a lot of stress lately, so it's hard to tell if Adderall has been contributing to any mood changes or anxiety. I put anxiety as a side-effect because I do think it contributed to my anxiety, but in a different way, which I will explain.
The thing about taking this drug, in my experience, is that it was a huge moment of "waking up". When I took my first dose, I literally felt my experience of reality shifting over a period of a few minutes. All my little "feelers/sensors" on the side of my head retracted, I had some tension in my forehead (a common sideeffect), and slowly, I felt myself come down into my body. I don't know how else to describe it. It was like I was lost in space my entire life, and then I came down into my body and was more present.
Even listening to music was different. I heard the same notes, rhthyms, and awesome instruments, but the quality of the experience was different. Before, I could really lose myself, go up into my head, and swim around in the inner universe of the music. Listening now, the music still rocks, but I'm still here.
So this was a huge wow! I felt really good, but I also felt really angry that the majority of my self-perceptions of being flawed, retarded, shitty school experiences, were all shaped by a lack of some little chemical in my brain that a pill could solve. The pill only helps though, it doesn't solve.
I completely re-evaluated my LIFE, and having tasted what reality was like for "everyone else but me", I became even harder on myself when I wasn't on the drug, because it was VERY noticeable. And who likes limitations? Who likes feeling like they have to work so much harder than everyone else just to stay on Planet Earth?
But I guess that's the lesson I still need to learn: To accept my flaws and limitations.
I've heard this is common for ADD folks though. We do develop a bit slower, and we feel like we're "behind" everyone else.
I still think the fast food/public education system sucks, and I hope to God/Universe I live to see a revolution in education of the kind Sir Ken Robinson speaks of.
I started with 5mg, went to 10mg, now we're shifting to 15mg/2x a day. I'm still under a lot of stress, I'm going outside my comfort zone, believing in my talents and abilities, and putting myself out there. I'm thankful for such a great support group, and friends and families.
I hope this is helpful to people. :)
< $25 monthly