Not really much to say here. I'm just a silly girl with some mental issues. I have the support of my Grandmother and my wonderful friends, as well as the medication and therapy to help me through the rough spots. Read the "About Me" section I suppose if you really would like to know more about the stuff I have going on in my little head.
I've been struggling with bipolar since I was a kid, but I wasn't finally diagnosed until 2008. I can remember having dermatillomania long before I knew it had a name, I always picked at my scabs and I think it's seems more okay to do than grabbing a razor to cut. I do it most often when I'm nervous of course so I always have a rubber band on my wrist I attempt to snap whenever I feel the urge to pick at the many wounds I end up having on my body (mainly my legs).
I love my dad very much, but he doesn't seem to ever understand how mental disorders can cripple someone. My mother left when I was 11 and she's never tried too hard to be a good mother since. I suppose that was what triggered my fear of abandonment. I have depression and overwhelming social anxiety, which is why I never was able to finish high school. I still have nightmares about empty school hallways, among other things. Despite that, I have gotten my GED and even attempted to do college courses.
I was also sexually assaulted and/or raped (since I blacked out I don't know if I was raped or if I got away) when I was 16 which just added to my social anxiety, paranoia, and my hesitation to trust people.
I've had asthma since I was 9 which has gotten progressively worse since.
Music and art seem to be my only ways of releasing my frustrations and emotional episodes. I sing all the time, no matter where I am. I am so very lucky to have my friends, who love and understand me. I don't know what I would do without them and my Grandmother. She completely empathizes and understands what I'm going through and we help each other through tough times. I couldn't ask for a better mental safety net than this. I just wish I could be healthier, both physically and mentally.