The day I finally received a diagnosis my life path took a hairpin turn and was full speed ahead amazing adventure. I stopped working due to symptoms which gave me more free time during which a friend noticed some photograph I had taken which prompted her to have me do a shoot for her boyfriend, an aspiring musician. At the end of the photo shoot with Jose Santana (Carlos's nephew) I begin delving into the music industry. Since then I have produced multiple songs, built websites and many more outrageous artistic experiences. I lived on but now feeling isolated & in a constant despair.
I try to enjoy each day for what it is but each day becomes more difficult. I feel that at this point having to rely on others to drive me anywhere or help me with simple things or not being able to go out & enjoy activities (especially in crowds) has brought on more anxiety and depression. Its' like an never ending spiral downwards with no light at the end of the tunnel. I am going this month (FEB 2013) to begin the DBS surgery process but seeing the actually surgery performed on videos is causing me to 2nd guess going through with it. My family and friends try to encourage me telling me it si worth it but I just haave a difficult time truly excepting it yet I will go meet with the Neurosurgeon to do my best to make it through.