Have suffered from severe chronic depression as well as periods of dysthymia pretty much from childhood. Obvious manifestation came at age five when I collapsed after one of my bipolar mom's rages. In just seconds, somehow, my body just shut down and I was paralyzed from the waist down and my hair had already been falling out in clumps but mom never noticed until I was hospitalized. So then later, add years of sexual molestation by my "godfather" in my late teens and many years later after another collapse and serious series of breakdowns and hospitalizations and it was not entiredly a shock when I learned all my "diagnoses" by doctors, therapists and social workers that I was bi-polar "atypical" (according to testing done at Stanford Psychiatric DEpartment or something and later that I had Post traumatic Stress Disorder and that wonderful phrase: Personality disorder. Haven't worked since 2002, battled depression, severe migraines, allergies, and suicidal thoughts and attempts for many years.... but thanks to perseverance and two great therapists and one very good Psychiatrist I am mostly in a good place compared to 2000 to 2011.
update: December 2016 My husband died in February of 2015 of a sudden heart attack. He should have been declared DOA but since he was still breathing slightly they put him on life support until my youngest son and I arrived. Five long days of hell ensued. Long story short -- we had to pull the plug. He took his last belabored breath 12 hours later with my oldest son and I by his side.
I have not been very well since yet I have surprised all friends and family by not having a breakdown so that means "I'm fine." Laughs. Scowls. Frowns, Shrugs. Sighs. Goes back to bed. Again. Been in and out of therapy several times since.
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Apr 02, 2008
Mar 21, 2017