I started having symptoms when I was almost 19. I was a freshman in college and had all my dreams laid out in front of me until the big diagnosis of MS came. My dr told me that he did not think I would walk by the time I was 30. I had already been accepted into the physician assistant program at Wake Forest Med Ctn of which I had to withdrawal before ever starting due to worsening of my MS symptoms. I was devastated when I had to leave school because I had dreamed of a college education ever since I was a little girl.
My disease has been on a rollercoaster for the past 8 years. The older I get the harder it is to bounce back after a relapse and it seems that the relapses are move severe each time they hit. I am averaging a relapse about every 5-6 months for the past 2 1/2 years. I have alot of difficulty with tolerating the heat. My memory functions are not as sharp, there is some decrease in my cognitive functions, I have numbness and weakness primarily on my right side.
I think some of the hardest things about having MS is the lack of being able to plan, the fact that not only do I have to suffer, my family has to suffer also, not knowing from one day to the next what I am going to feel like, having people not understand that I feel bad just because I might look good, and the hardest thing to deal with is the ignorance of the public. I have learned to overcome alot of my MS battles but I couldnt have done this without my faith. God has shown me countless times that He is in control and that He does have a purpose for me and my life. I have been able to use my battle over and over again as a witness to others about just how awesome He can be. I might not like or agree with where my life is right now but I know He has me right where He wants me and He is using my and my illness everyday.
I have a wonderful husband who is very supportive of my MS. He told me one time that he had to love the MS b/c it was a part of me and that it was just one of the parts that he has to accept. I have two sons, ages 18 and 10. They are my reason for living and fighting everyday. I feel bad that they have to miss out of things b/c of me but they are very understanding and we all fight this disease as a family and take one day at a time appreciating all that they day might bring. I have since gone back to school and finished my BS degree. It was a bittersweet day for me b/c it was a goal that I felt that the MS had taken and that I would never achieve. I would love to attend grad school but for now my health isnt where I can look at that option. I am currently fighting to get my disability. I just rec'd notice that I will have to have a face to face hearing before a judge and that could be scheduled as far off at 9 months. The system is messed up if you ask me and I dont know how people survive but then again, I do, we survive b/c we have to and we have no other choice. I had my face to face hearing last Nov 2010 and was denied AGAIN... again I have appealed and my file is in "waiting to be reviewed by another judge".......