Purpose:A long-term problem in the couple or family(Started Apr 10, 2006)
Date
Dosage
Perceived effectiveness
Side Effects
Adherence
Burden
May 31, 2011
50 min
Monthly
Major
Moderate
Never
Somewhat
Feb 24, 2011
50 min
Monthly
Major
Moderate
Always
Very
May 21, 2010
50 min
Monthly
Major
Moderate
Always
Somewhat
Aug 21, 2008
120 min
Monthly
Major
Mild
Always
Somewhat
Side effects:
Exposing our true feelings
Date
May 31, 2011
Advice & Tips
We tried quite a few couples therapists over the years but they just didn't work for us. Finally one of my old therapists realized how close we were to divorcing (mainly because of my depression, PTSD, and the length of my illness and severity of my condition that led to four suicide attempts) and recommended we see Jill before we did one more thing.
She was amazing. Truly a gifted therapist and human being. We all pretty much thought our marriage was pretty hopeless but the fact that we were willing to commit to trying to see if there was any hope of salvaging and healing was enough for Jill to encourage us to come. Otherwise, if we hadn't of said, "Yes, we are committed to trying," she would have said, "I'm sorry. I just can't work with couples that are not committed."
Five years later much has happened. I also found a new individual psychologist (thanks to Jill) so I was finally getting the help I needed individually, and in May of 2010, Laura, my therapist, saw how frustrated I was with all the bad psychiatrists I had had at Kaiser... that she called an old acquaintance who still worked there and it took nine months of haggling with Kaiser but I finally "was allowed" to see him and he got my meds straightened out for the first time in 10 years. So a lot has contributed to our marriage life improving but most of all, it's like Jill said: You have to be committed and work hard.
Cost
$100-199 monthly
Date
Feb 24, 2011
Advice & Tips
Couples therapy with this therapist has been nothing short of miraculous. We were on the edge of despair, hopelessness, no communication and obviously divorce. This past five years has been a roller coaster ride all the way but we have all benefitted and learned from it. There is much less despair and hopelessness. Communication has improved but mostly because we have had to accept that we are two very different people who do not have anything in common in terms of how we problem solve, deal with stress, etc. When I say "accept" this is an ongoing process that is still very hard to adhere to.
Now my husband wants us to stop therapy all together. I do not want to. I think we need this space to continue to figure out whether we can live as "room mates" or whether we have the strength and desire to be happier and go our separate ways. I think both of us wish there was still hope to re-kindle what we had physically when we met 36 years ago but there has been too much water under our bridge and it just isn't going to happen.
So I shall report in a month or so to see if we will try to see this therapist once a month still. I think we (I) deserve at least that much.
Cost
$100-199 monthly
Date
May 21, 2010
Advice & Tips
Jill K. has literally helped us save our marriage. It's hard work and one has to really trust that it's worth the time and effort it takes not only in therapy but at home.
Unexpected benefits is real life changes in our attitudes, understanding of ourselves, our relationship and how we affect each other, our history and how it affected us long term, etc.
Our daily life now is so much more relaxed and we are able to deal much more effectively the big and little stresses and problems that arise in any marriage. And if there is something we feel we can't handle by ourselves we have learned to shelve it until we have therapy -- even if that means waiting three weeks.
Cost
$100-199 monthly
Date
Aug 21, 2008
Advice & Tips
Good marriage counselors are hard to find so keep looking and don't give up. If one of the SO's are resistant to getting help I am not sure what to say other than if you know other couples who are in therapy then make sure your SO knows that. Often, people feel embarassed or that it's not "normal" to seek help for such personal problems. Being vulnerable with one's SO as well as a trained professional is not easy but it does get easier as time goes on and if the therapist is worth her weight in gold!
Updating results…
Moderate
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