I have been suffering from panic, anxiety and, social phobia and depression for roughly 3+ years. I have been suffering with depression for last 9 years or so. The panic, anxiety and social phobia came totally out of the blue. 36 months ago, I was a completely different person, confident, outgoing and didn't have a care. I made numerous appointments at the doctors but could never face them. I ended up sending my husband to all of my appointments. I suffer from this 24/7. It rules my life. I can't work, I don't go out unless I absolutely have to.
It has affected my relationship with my family. They don't seem to understand how much these conditions are affecting my life. I have since plucked up the courage to see my GP in the last couple of months. I was referred to a therapist who came back and told me I was "too ill" to be seen. I am now waiting to see a pyschiatrist and a councillor, but I am worried that I won't make the appointments due to me breaking down before the appointment. On certain days I feel completely hopeless and I just feel like I am stuck in a bottomless pit with no way out. It makes me feel suicidal on some days, but I don't want to die, I have so much to live for, and I want to make a good life for myself. I wish I could find a way out of this horrendous cycle. Since I have started feeling like this, I haven't had a day where I have felt well. If I know I have an appointment with the doctor the following day, I won't get any sleep from worrying and feeling anxious about knowing I am having to leave the house where I feel safe. I wake up everyday feeling nauseous. I have just had enough, and can't take it anymore. =[.
May 05, 2010
Sep 15, 2011