I am a mother of two sons ages 16 and 20. I am single, or soon to be anyway. My husband was not able to handle this disease. Separated for 2 years now and will make things final soon. I have great friends and family that support me and help me when I need it. I have two dogs that I adore. I am on total disability due to ms. My career as a project manager became impossible over time. But I am blessed to be where I am. I trust that God does have a plan for me and this MS. My goal now is to live everyday to its fullest. On bad days I will rest, but on the good days I will live.
I can remember feeling fatigue as early as 1989 after my first son was born. Thinking back I remember telling the doctors that the tiredness was like nothing I had felt before. It was overwhelming at times. But they would all tell me I was either depressed or overloaded. I worked full time and was a new mother. I can remember my mother-in-law saying ' you are too young to be so tired'. That drove me crazy. I knew I was too young. I did make it through it though. I stayed busy as a mom, and a dedicated employee to my job. Believe it or not I loved my job.
When my son was 2, I divorced my husband at his request. He had overcome a major illness and decided he needed more in life. That brought on much stress but I was able to overcome it and we eventually married again. I am a glutton for punishment. I became pregnant with my second child.
By this time I was pretty successful at my job. But that pregnancy took a toll on me. I was so exhausted. I was not able to function at times. I gained so much weight and was so unbearably tired. I was put on bed rest for that last six weeks of that pregnancy. I went back to work and remained exhausted. Again the doctors told me I was depressed. I worked hard to lose weight and I did . I lost most of the baby weight.
Then through the years certain things happened that no doctor could explain. I began to have severe swallowing problems. They kept telling me it was GERD. I knew I had GERD already and I knew how that felt. This problem was with my throat actually following through on the swallow.
Then there was a time that I had so much pain in my lower back and rectum that I thought I would die. Again no rhyme or reason why.
Then there was the time that I was cutting grass on a hot day and I suddenly was not able to move. My brain was saying ‘legs please move' but they wouldn't.
Then of course the brain fog was always around through all of this. I was diagnosed ADHD as an adult.
Oh almost forgot to mention that my ankles would swell constantly. They are fine now but for years I had cankles with no reason why.
Then came the ptosis or drooping eyelids. Man I looked stoned everywhere I went. I even got a note from my neuro that I had the eye condition so that if I was pulled over by the police. I was mis-diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis.
Then finally after several MRI's over a period of many years, one small lesion appeared. And they just kept coming. Bigger and bigger.
So here I am today. Diagnosed officially in January of 2007. I am getting divorced again! But will not marry the same man three times. I am on total disability. I left a 23 year career behind, but with no regrets. I accomplished way more that I though I ever would in that career
Feb 08, 2010
Apr 25, 2010
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