Along with having fibro/CFS, I also have lupus, Epstein-Barr virus(Chronic mono virus), diabetes--well-controlled with diet and meds, obesity but have lost 60lbs since I started eating like a diabetic should eat, tobacco dependency but trying my best to quit, some things that lupus has caused: heart disease with history of 2 heart attacks 2001, blood clots-almost lost my left index finger in 2000, Stage III membranous glomerulonephritis (kidney disease) if I get to Stage V I'll need dialysis, lupus also makes the muscle, joint and other pains 10times worse than fibro. Also have back pain

I am also bipolar and severely depressed. Right now I am manic and having trouble concentrating which fibro and lupus doesn't help, right?  I just got out of a psychiatrist hospital because I am so tired of being in pain that I tried to kill myself by taking 50 lorazepam(nerve pills).  Now my pain doctor is scared to give me too many pain pills because of the attempted suicide, so I will run out again before the month is up and my pain will be a over a 10 again.  I don't have anyone but my doctors to talk to about this.  Also my mom possibly has lung cancer and she is like my best friend.  My daughter is depressed and had to take a medical leave from her 1st year of college.  She like to cut herself when depressed and that scares the heck out of me.

I have 1 leg shorter than the other and left sciatic nerve pain from my lower back to my left foot.  Physical therapy helps but you can only go for a certain amount of time and then Medicaid stops paying.  Then my leg will shorten back up again and I have to wait 6 month to go to physical therapy again. 

I see NO WAY OUT of all this except death, but my mom and my daughter need me so I have to stop thinking of myself and think of them even though I hurt ALL THE TIME!!! My son who is 17 and lives with his father          My daughter who is 19 and on medical

                  leave from college.........