I am a too-sensitive person who grew up in a chaotic unlucky family. It seems to me that I was born guilty and ashamed. I stayed away from my family for a long time and found that I felt better. Then each one of them died except for my brother. Each death hit me very hard. I'm reeling from it now. I have a history of depression and substance abuse. I have not had a proper diagnosis in years. I had 2 serious suicide attempts in my late twenties when I was first diagnosed with depression. In 2002 I went on SSD disability with the diagnosis of major depression.