I am a bipolar mom to 5 kids. I am going through some major changes in my life right now. My husband and I are in the middle of a divorce right now that, at times, is less than friendly. My 4 young children are having a very hard time with this. My soon to be ex does not handle himself as a parent around the kids and that has cause alot of emotional problems for them. My oldest son in moving in with his girlfriend and I am quite sure she is pregnent. My youngest child is starting starting school this year which leaves me open to try new things in my life. I have NO clue what I am going to do!

I just thought that I might share a little about myself. I was dx in 1990. I was in college and became very depressed. The Dean sent me to a counseling center in town. Just before Christmas break I became suicidal. My counselor put me in the hospital. While I was there the doctor told me that I am Bipolar. He handed me a bottle of Lithium and said these everyday and you will be fine. I was in the hospital for a month. When I went back to school I had a very hard time. I never saw a doctor or had my levels checked. So 4 months later I was back in the hospital again for depression. I stayed there for a month also. This time I came home to my mom's and did much better. I still was not stable but better than before. My moods still swung alot and in turn I made some very poor choices. Before I knew it I was pregnant with my first child. He is now 16 and I would not change the events that brought him in any way. In a way, he changed me. He made me pull myself together and get help.

I have had alot of problems with my meds. I have really searched for meds that will work. I have been on just about everything out there. (At lest that is how it feels.) A year ago I was in the hospital for 3 and a half weeks. I was very depressed and suicidal. I had not had a good doctor in almost a year and it has really hurt me. While I was in the hospital I was set up with a great doctor. I have been seeing since. He is very helpful. He listens to me and tells me what he thinks and how to handle the problem. We have finally found the right meds for me and I have done very well this year.

I have 5 wonderful kids that I love so much but when I am sick I know that it has to be hard on them. My husband does the best he can. I know that it is hard for him to completely understand what it is like for me. Just like I will never know what it is like to not be this way. I do, sometimes, worry about my kids. I don't want any of them to have to deal with this illness like I have. My 8yo son is ADHD and I worry most about him. He is a very emotional child. I just hope that if one of my kids do have a problem, I will be able to see the signs and help them as soon as possible. Maybe that would help them to get on the right mrds from the start so things could be a little more "normal" for them

I try to talk to anyone who has any questions about me, my illness or my life. I think the more we know, the better we can handle the problem. I don't think anyone benefits for we just "push it under the rug." We have to deal with it the best we can and try to help others understand it the best they can.