Ugh.....just ugh... If you have a large amount of time and nothing to do, I have a VERY LONG bio. I put a short version at the end, though.

DTs history. A few reasons that may have led to my presence on this site, I don't know.

     From the day we moved from the town I lived in as a small child I went into 1st grade. Hooray...into society, other children. Fun. What a terrible school district I'm in. From 1st until 8th I was continuously bullied, yep. Every single bully that all the kids in the school know, they picked on me at one time or another. Every year it was the same crap, I had been in the principal's office every couple of months because some kid won't leave me alone. The principal gave the same useless pile they always did. They told them they can't do that and sent us back to class. You know what they did? Continued their harassment. There was no punishment for their actions until high school, which is where I am now in junior year.

    In middle school is where things started to go really bad though. It started off okay but now that I look back at it, I see what was really going on from the start, the problems were starting. I slacked off and skipped assignments because there was more work than there had been in elementary school and for some reason I just didn't feel like doing it. My best friend just one week stopped hanging out with me. It was a terrible thing. We used to hang out every weekend, sometimes twice. But apparently I just wasn't good enough anymore, and then there was 1. Me-all alone. Middle school wasn't good for my social life. I pretty much seperated myself from everyone around that time.

    The same time that I was having problems in school, my family was having problems as well. My parents had discovered that if you drink a lot of alcohol, guess what? YOU GET DRUNK. They still find that to be a very useful tool today. But it was worse back then. My parents were going to get a divorce and I kind of wish they had. My parents abused each other and one day I overheard them yelling downstairs while I was trying to sleep, and my dad was threatening to rape her. Of course my mom couldn't handle it all and she was depressed before I was. My mother has been in the psych ward 3 times, and attempted suicide 4 times. I even got to watch twice, once as she jumped out of the back window, and another time as she started shoving those pills down her throat. My parents are still one of the problems that stress me out today, but I avoid them as much as I can.

    Well after freshman year in high school the bullying stopped my family problems calmed down and I started to feel a bit better, for a while. I started getting back into society and making friends and talking to people. I even met a girl that I liked a lot. Her and I were together for 7 1/2 months. Near the beginning of our relationship she had told me some things about her past, the summer, a few months before we got together. She was very depressed. Apparently she had done some oral things with one of my best friends and got drunk with some guy and they had sex. At first she had told me it was only once, and then I found out later that it was multiple times. She told me he had gotten her drunk and it was rape. Lies. So whatever, it was done with so I forgave her and decided to just move on. But then I was starting to get much more depressed as well. I sat in my bed almost ever night near the end of the school year on the phone with her because I was sad and she was trying to cheer me up, I was only bringing her down with me. 2 days into the summer, she broke up with me and hung out with one of my best friends...A LOT. Then she came back to me a couple of weeks later and we went out again, for 2 days, then she broke my heart yet again. Which she continues to do today. She went out with one of my best friends at the beginning of this school year after the entire summer of flirting with me and telling me how much she cared about me giving me lots of hugs and kisses. Did she want me to kill myself? it seemed so. even while she is in the relationship with him, she tells me she has feelings for me. I stopped hanging out with her for a while. I started on my pills and felt a lot better. So one day she asked to hang out and since the pills had seemed to be working, I decided, why not? (because she's going to break your heart again.) That day, I could tell. We both had the best day ever. She acted like her boyfriend didn't exist and we had fun. We went to the park and hung out for a few hours. It was wonderful. So on the night of the best day freaking ever she calls me. She called to tell me that it was a mistake, and that she shouldn't be flirting with me, and that she was sorry for hurting me....again. It doesn't make sense. I know the problem between us was my depression, but she doesn't seem to see that. She acts like it's a part of me and it always will be. And it will if I continue to be treated like that.

And then I attempted suicide. But she still doesn't seem to understand....she just pushes me farther and farther. I'm sorry Christie.

Short version

Bullies

loneliness

Alcoholic/suicidal parents

Meets girl

girl continuously breaking heart

attempted suicide

no resolution yet