After trying to find a title for my bio I thought of the word Imagine.
Before August 4, 1992 I had a job as a furniture delivery driver.
I was able to go to work then go home do housework, mow the grass,
then get on your motorcycle and go to a pool tournament. Or instead of shooting pool swim a mile and tread water for 15 or 30 minutes. Just for a workout.
Imagine having your yearly full physical from a doctor to show that you are able to continue working into job.
After the physical Imagine having the doctor tell you that for a person of 38 you have the stamina of a 21-year-old.
Imagine, one month later, you end up in the hospital, because you lose function of the right side of your body.
Imagine having your body return to being somewhat normal.
Imagine when you meet your first neurologist she asked you how you are and you say okay.
Imagine that she runs a few tests you fail. And you cannot believe it.
Imagine that you start therapy and you cannot believe how hard everything is.
Imagine that you start getting weaker and weaker. Speech problems thinking problems bathroom problems, and so on.
Imagine MRIs, blood test, and finally a brain biopsy.
Imagine instead of being scared to death you know that you are in for a real battle.
Imagine that you do your best to thank positive and reject the negative. You do this for 15 years.
Imagine being happy that you're able to do very little to take care of yourself and your house.
Imagine not having much of a social life.
Imagine no one as far as doctors or mental health therapist asking how long does it take you to any one thing in your life. The Truth!
Imagine lying flat on your back in the hospital and you dream of regaining just a tiny bit of your life. You just be happy that you're able to do something.
Imagine trying to go back to work on another job before you receive your first Social Security check.
Imagine trying to go back to work at another job three of four times and failing.
Imagine doing this because you feel that you have not pushed yourself hard enough.
Imagine while doing this he cannot fix yourself a decent meal. Eating out of the freezer and using the microwave.
Imagine you're finally vacuum your house in one day. You're so exhausted, but after eight years. You feel you're ready to try to go back to work.
Imagine you go to a work program any given everything you have.
Imagine coming home and you are happy that you are able to make it home.
Imagine passing out when you get in the door.
Imagine waking up eating a frozen microwave meal.
Imagine staring at the TV and all it is is noise that keeps you company. No enjoyment.
Imagine you repeat this day in and day out and you say nothing. All you do is your utmost to succeed.
Imagine during the time that you tried to get back to work. You could not take care of your house be with friends, and so on.
Imagine that after some time you are let go because you failed.
Imagine that when you come home instead of getting sad and depressed that you vow to do everything possible to take yourself.
Imagine that your first neurologist made you feel that you have not tried hard enough.
Imagine holding in all your anger, all your feelings, all your loneliness, and so on.
Imagine not telling the truth on how life is so difficult. Because no one asked.
Imagine just tried to hold the one thing you had is just feeling positive you are better now than when you're in the hospital. You are able to do very little.
Imagine having an extremely hard time moving a vacuum from one room to another. Around 15 to 20 feet.
Imagine the reason you are doing this is because you're unable to clean yourself from having a bowel movement.
Imagine the dried up mess laying on your carpet. You do not anybody to see it.
Imagine telling your second neurologist that you truly need to see a mental health therapist. Just so you can tell him the truth. And being laughed at.
Imagine your first neurologist makes displeasing sounds and holding in your anger because you're confused. You do not know what to say.
Imagine having a cousin who is a doctor of psychology and she suggest talking to a therapist. Her main job is a director of medical and mental health ethics. Become a doctor she wrote a book How a therapist can best serve the client.
Imagine telling everybody that you have so many problems you don't know where to start.
Imagine after three therapists no one seems to give you any direction.
Imagine you try talking and talking and your anger just grows!
Imagine feeling like you're being bullied by the people that could help.
Imagine being honest with a friend and he says start with your head and end with your feet. That way you get to talk about confusion thinking problems memory problems eye problems hearing problems and so on. What you can actually do with your body.
Imagine going to the doctor or a mental health therapist and know that you're going to be hurt in one way or another. You are prepared and never lashed out with anger because you're afraid you will get hurt more.
Imagine telling this to a mental health therapist and they do not keep you on track.
Imagine your mom is happy that you're talking the whole time.
Imagine telling your mom of the distraction that the mental health therapist is doing.
Imagine that she sees nothing wrong. Until finally she is face-to-face and see.
Imagine given direction by a friend a year ago and not stating all your problems.
Imagine taking over two months to draft this and send it off. If it was not for my Dragon NaturallySpeaking program I would be unable to do this.
I try to Imagine the day I am able to speak the absolute Truth to my doctor.
May 24, 2008
Dec 05, 2013