I have always had two jobs: one for benefits, and two for spiritual fulfillment. Before my illness, I tried to volunteer for every opportunity to help others. I think I may have overdone my "helping" job to the detriment of my "benefits" job as I struggle to put in sufficient years to qualify for retirement. I love to play music, speak in public, and I generally eat when I am anxious or depressed. This has caused Type II diabetes with a very low blood sugar that I think I can beat by cutting out the carbs and fats, and shedding about 30 lbs. So far, I have not made it.