I may be unable to work but I'm still able to laugh. Multiple Sclerosis is no fun but I am not my MS. I like to laugh, sing, read, hike (on my good days), jump in the ocean/lake/stream, and I like to dream. Some days I stay in bed, unable to really move about cause of fatigue or pain. Other days I like to be outside sitting under a tree or at the beach.
So my life isn't what I expected it would be at 30 years old. Whose life ever is? Things change. The unexpected happens. Just gotta roll with it and move on.
Well, this section says to describe my medical history here. I hope that this is right and I'm not just acting like one of those random people on the bus that want to tell you in great detail about their colonoscopy. (don't worry that's not something that's mentioned in here. Luckily, I haven't had the honor of having one of those.)
Well, my main concern is my Multiple Sclerosis. For those who are unfamiliar with it, think of an electrical cord where the rubber tubing is damaged so the electricity isn't running correctly. That's basically what's going on in my brain with the myelin sheathes (rubber coating as it were) around my nerves (the electricity). It causes all sorts of crazy things. Balance issues, tingling, chronic pain, fatigue, speaking problems. Pretty much anything can happen with this. I always wake up to a surprise!
I also have mild obstructive sleep apnea. I never have a good nights sleep and need at least 12 hours. I've tried the oral appliance and I've tried the c-pap. Tried the darn c-pap for months and it did nothing so I think my fatigue is mainly MS related and I give up on the Darth Vader mask. It's uncomfortable and doesn't do anything for me.
Another one is Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) gentlemen might not want to read on as it's woman issues and I know some of you run in horror when those things are mentioned so you may skip to the next paragraph, I won't mind. Okay, so PCOS causes me to have random and severe abdominal pain. I've had ultrasounds and I have many cysts and fibroids in there. One of my cysts is about the size of the ovary, so that's fun. It causes irregular and severe menstruation. It causes male patterned hair growth. (I shave often nobody wants a neckbeard) I also have high insulin levels which are being treated. I haven't seen an endocrinologist in a while so that's something that I need to get on. My PCP is getting a referral soon for me. I say take the whole thing out but they won't do it. I don't intend to have kids so who needs a uterus. Get it outta there!
I also have depression, anxiety, and social anxiety. The depression is, I believe, circumstantial. It got bad around the time my father passed away, and then teenage years were of course hell. I was fine again for about 10 years with no meds until this fatigue and MS hit me now I'm back on Prozac. I sometimes get panic attacks usually for no reason. And I'm nervous in large gatherings. One on one, I'm usually fine but I'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing or looking like an idiot even though I know that's silly. Most people don't notice if you say something slightly boring or dumb and if they do it's not a big deal. OCD much? I just plain get overwhelmed in gatherings. So even though I haven't been OFFICIALLY diagnosed with social anxiety, I know that I at least have a mild version of it.
So that's me. That's all my problems... I think. I'm seeing a good neurologist with a fantastic Nurse Practitioner, I'm GOING to see an endocrinologist soon, my PCP is technically in RI but I had to move to MA so I'm seeing a new one, who's certainly nice but I miss my old one. Stupid insurance. I have a mental health team but I'm having some trouble getting in touch with the therapist. I think that she wants me to transfer to somewhere in MA so my insurance will cover it, but they have a sliding scale there in RI and I really like my MH team. I really don't want to switch and every Dr and even my Psychiatrist agree that I shouldn't switch. I hope my therapist calls me soon. I do miss her and I want to know what's going on. It's like a weird breakup where the guy just stops calling. Anyway, rambling so I will stop. This is all just my medical crap, I do have great friends, great family, and I am still able to do some exciting things on my good days so it's not all bad. I'm very blessed with the support that I have.
Apr 11, 2011
Nov 14, 2013