I had my first Tonic Clonic seizure in my office in 2008. I had been having episodes where I would have this strange sensation of feeling awesome or a type of euphoria, not really connecting where or who I was and that I was about to connect with a divine message of great importance...like the meaning of life. But, I would never get that message and the good feeling would go away and I would be left feeling disoriented and tired. Sometimes I actually fell asleep or just fell over. Other events actually turn into a tonic-clonic type of seizure. I haven't had anything since 19 April. The saddest thing about my epilepsy is that the feeling is initially so good, and I feel like there is some supernatural connection, that I wish they would happen. But, I take medication and manage the stress I can in my life to prevent the seizures from occuring. I am 57 now, retired from the Air Force because of my epilepsy, I don't work at all now because of the epilepsy and breast cancer that started 2 years after the epilepsy. I have really struggled to find a new identity. Being disabled can really change your perspective on your life. And, it can happen faster than we have the ability to understand and adapt to the new person we are. I have lots of roles I can claim such as wife, mom, step mom, grandmother, daughter, sister, retired, family nurse practitioner, and I can probably add 100 more. I am now also a student. I have chosen to use my GI Bill to try college. This is really a way for me to use my brain and get me thinking outside my narrow world!