Major Depressive Disorder, I've had it since I was a kid. It has always affected me in a social atmosphere, and I had a very low self-esteem. Happiness has been void from me. I've attempted suicide more than four times in a span of thirty years. The pain is immense. I've had MANY severe episodes of Depression. Psyche wards? So many. I've been gratefully sober for the last eight years, and have been hospitalized four times since. Misery without drinking. New Docs, New Meds...Hope it works. Seems to so far.