This is my "COMING OUT" of shame & denial!! I was raised in an atmosphere where being "handicapped" was shameful, hidden & denied?! So, I have suffered 38-yrs of seizures, confusion, deceit, shame & lies at the cost of myself & my 3-sons; who lost oxygen when, I constantly seized while pregnant & now each have some type of developmental delay! But, GOD made me EXACTLY the way, he wanted me to be!! No more SHAME..."I AM WHO I AM!" In JESUS Name!!
I have never known a life w/o Seizures! I was dropped on my head at 6-weeks old by my 5-yr old brother.I've had multiple head injuries over my lifetime. Nothing like at 8-yrs old, that nearly killed me!! I awoke in ICU, was in a coma & stayed in the children's ward of the hospital for quite some time. This was back in 79' or 80' so, technology wasn't as advanced & the small crack in the occipital region of my skull wasn't observed until much later. After, being transported to, a facility that housed the latest technology at the time....a CT Scan. I was briefly on Phenobarbital after returning back to my "normal" life. And, over the years, I had EEG’s (the old kind w/needles! Ouch!)but, nothing routine or a specialist. But, soon after I was having seizures once again. I’ve always had the “fainting” type where, it looks as though, I’ve just gotten too hot, thirsty or hungry?! So, my parents always said, that it was low blood sugar & left it at that. I cannot be mad at them, they did the best that they could w/what they knew how?! I did receive top of the line Professional Medical care & that is attributed to what helped to save my life! They were affluent, professional, busy, very hard-working people who, were providing what they thought was EVERYTHING at the time. America was not always so understanding & Politically correct with concern to “handicapped” persons! FDR had to hide the fact that he was stricken w/Polio & had become unable to walk & that's the era they had lived in! So, to this very day, no ones knows if my Seizures are from Trauma or Heredity? But, several years, seizures & repercussions have gone on, in the wake of this mystery?! I have seized in secret to the detriment of my unborn sons & myself! Praise GOD that I ONLY have Nocturnal Seizures!! For some unknown reason, my body seems to awaken when it becomes night & get sleepy when the sun begins to rise?!
I have just recently in the last approx: 6-7-yrs sought out a Neurologist, testing & daily anti-epileptic medications. Only because, my middle son had a seizure & was diagnosed w/Epilepsy!! This brought out the fight in me to stand up & fight for him & be an example. So, here I stand on a quest to finally admit my struggle & conquer my battle!! I Pray to be a Blessing & to also be Blessed & inspired by all of the courageous people in the fight to beat Epilepsy!! GOD Bless Everyone!! AMEN!!