Even tho I have been plagued by both physical and psychiatric problems for many years I have a good life. The physical are a result, for the most part, of the abuse I suffered for the first 20+ years of my life at the hands of both parents, at home and in a Satanic cult. I have been diagnosed with DID and have integrated, at least it is under control. Chronic depression and dissociation are part of daily life, I have learned to keep doing something so as not to become a vegetable. Few understand the energy it takes to maintain both physical and mental illness successfully, I'm always tired.

I live the perfect life for someone dealing with physical and mental illnesses. I live in a log cabin on 5 acres, play a small harp and because I am disabled I can develop my talents in needlework and on the harp. I must admit, however, that the combination sometimes becomes almost too hard to handle. Doctors so often don't believe that I am experiencing problems when they see I am a psychiatric patient. My blood tests almost always come out normal. I don't run temperatures. I don't look sick. And I don't feel pain. I am sometimes angry that I must live in this body which has many problems as a result of 20 years of abuse which did not allow it to develop as others. I have an ileostomy, which isn't too bad because it is a continent one. I am on an IV many hours a day because my body doesn't stay hydrated. 

Funny thing is that I rarely complain and count my many blessings every day. I know that the DID saved my life. I know that God has a plan for me and I try very hard to let people know that He has never given me more challenges than I can handle. I know that I have been an inspiration to several people and by my example they have gotten through some really difficult stuff. And that alone makes my life worth living.