PatientsLikeMe ™

I've been struggling with bipolar since I was a kid, but I wasn't finally diagnosed until 3 years ago. I love my dad very much, but he doesn't seem to ever understand how mental disorders can cripple someone. My mother left when I was 11 and she's never tried too hard to be a good mother since. I suppose that was what triggered my fear of abandonment. I have depression and overwhelming social anxiety, which is why I never was able to finish high school. I still have nightmares about empty school hallways, among other things. I was also sexually assaulted and/or raped (since I blacked out I don't know if I was raped or if I got away) when I was 16 which just added to my social anxiety and my hesitation to trust people. I've had asthma since I was 9 which has gotten progressively worse since. Music and art seem to be my only ways of releases my frustrations and emotional episodes. I sing all the time no matter where I am. I am so very lucky to have my friends, who love and understand me. I don't know what I would do without them and my Grandmother. She completely empathizes and understands what I'm going through and we help each other through tough times. I couldn't ask for a better mental safety net than this. I just wish I could be healthier, both physically and mentally.