I can't help but feel that this is not what I had planned for my life - but who does, right?  I am normally quite positive and always hope for the best but I just cant help feeling that I am the one that will end up in the worst case scenerio.  I am the person in my family who takes care of everyone, I don't want to have everyone take care of me.  I feel enormous guilt for being somewhat helpless or useless in my current state.  I don't want to hear that this is Gods way of testing me or that things happen for a reason - I just don't believe it to be that way.  A girlfriend of mine sent me to the link to this website, I am excited to get to know people that are in my same situation and may have some insight on getting past the initial shock.  I only recently went through my first dose of the IV steriod treatment, 3 consecutive days almost 2 weeks ago and feel no progress - still have the double vision and numbess on the right side of my body.  I am hoping to see some progress soon so that I can see straight and get around without feeling so sick all the time.