PatientsLikeMe ™

    My Family members abandon me except my mother, my 3 brothers and there wife's.  I lived in a house my mom gave me along with my not so nice father gave me. The 3 brothers never came to see me 2 of therm laughed in my face about the disease, stating i could cure it, the last one didn't come by until the last year because we got into an argument so he decided to come see me after he had a huge heart attack with 20% left of his heart left with a auto defibrillator in his chest, now knowing what death or fearing death feels like it was time to make up. In the last year i went from 220lbs being on wrong med from psychiatrist who put me on depakote which increased my wt down to now with new dr. 140lbs.  But now do to isolation from family and lack of support i have acquired a social anxiety.  I hear support is important.  I think it must be.  I set home by myself daily with no human contact and afraid to go out, no family member's come to see me.  I see myself scared more so often of people. Is that normal? I was wondering. I have a few question.  I question my feelings being i have no one to ask.  I am raising 17 year old but not around much he is working hard in school A Plus student. 13 year old into sports A Plus student my mom helps with them. thank god. but i always wonder what happens if something happens when mom gets sick. I have no other family... I came here from GA form a divorce, didn't realize i was going to get MS which is going into a secondary phase. I needed a support group on line because I need people to help me thank you for helping me. really  I do use a cane also a wheel walker when needed. One thing I wanted to add, and I did not, I know its different and allot of people don't believe in this but I have had psychic abilities my whole life, when i was a nurse it was very helpful in knowing who needed help first in triage ect. it was more than a gut feeling, If I was to wright about how it started ect it would take pages, to explain, my simple question is , are those others out there with the same abilities, when i was young i seen the spirits, and heard them , new things that were going to happen before they did, now that I have MS it has gotten more intense, I told my own therapist about his sister that was demised how long it took to have her pass, what took her life,(that was his real question he forgot the name) and I told him and how old she was, I also told him about his mother, her new diagnosis and were she lives now, I left with his mouth open and he was a new believer.  My own therapist, the reason i was able to do this for him he really wanted to know, he was hurting to know, i am not one that does it on a whim. it does not work that way, i have dreams that warns me about people . I warned my sister about her boyfriend I never meant, i told her the situation, i  told her what he looked like the other person and the situation. I was right. and right to warn her.  He asked my sister if i was clarvoant because it was something he didn't want my sister to know about his personality. my sister said yes.  I was told deep in my soul 2 weeks until i told her. I did not want to because it was not nice, but i was suppose to , so i did what i am suppose to do.  I dream when i am suppose to, i can not force it.  Now more than ever I have these abilities . I call them abilities , because there are different kinds. more than one type.  I am wondering is there anyone like me with MS that has had this happen. Its, had to expose myself I don't want people to think I am silly, I was able to help my therapist, as a nurse it helped me, It always was there to help. that is how I use it to help.  That is why god hives us certain abilities to help I believe I was just curious when my MS got worse the Abilities got stronger.  anyone out there the same???  I wanted to add something I found quite interesting , people have trouble someone said going outside the norm on here mentioning my abilities i had to laugh.  You may wonder why?? Because like it or not you yourself with ms life out side the norm and you have not realized that, well my friends let me share something with you, i am constantly question about my ms abilities all the time so i am so so used to being question from people out of the norm and if people here do that they have yet learned the feeling of how it feels to life with feeling out of the norm than may i as one question have you ever been somewhere where you yourself were the one out of the norm. because they cannot see your disease i have many times.  This ability i have had since a young kid it help me so much in my nursing career helping the sickest first and i think god for it . Only the goodness comes from it . so if i am to be judged for being out of the nor-om than a mirror must be placed in front of all the faces that judge because your being judged as soon as you judge me. thank you for listening and remembering what if feels like to be different when people can not see your ms  or any other abilities right and it hurts no one it has helped a lot thousands when i was a nurse it told me who was the sickest , who was going to deliver right that second. how could this be wrong and bad. it's a wonderful gift and it continues. sorry for those who cannot believe what they can not see then how do they explain ms??? you can not see that.....thank you very much. Michelle