PatientsLikeMe ™

  I am a 26 year old mother who was diagnosed bipolar with rapid cycling about a year ago.  The diagnosis freaked me out a little at first, but it was nice to have an explanation for everything I had been going through for so long.  I have been on antidepressants since I was 18 or so.  I have tried what seems like every antidepressant out there, all with little or no success.  Although they helped my depression, I still had major mood swings.  A few years ago a dr prescribed me effexor which has been the most helpful to me as far as antidepressants go.  Until last year I had never been to a psychiatrist, which is probably why I was never diagnosed properly.  Most primary drs are not familiar enough with mental illness to be very helpful, this is why I strongly reccomend anyone suffering from a mental illness see a psychiatrist or psychologist in conjunction with their family dr.

  When I discussed my symptoms with the psychiatrist he said that they were basically straight from the text book for bipolar disorder.  He chose to up my dose of effexor and add a mood stabalizer, seroquel.  This helped tremendously!  I began to feel better than I had in as long as I could remember.  I like the seroquel because not only does it help to prevent my mood swings, but I also take a smaller dose as needed when I start to feel anxious or panicky and get almost immediate relief.  The larger dose that I take at night helps me to sleep, which is great because I battle insomnia during both manic and depressive states.

  I took the seroquel as prescribed for several months with great results, but the cost of the prescription was always a bit of a problem, so about four months ago I stopped taking it.  I was feeling better and thought I'd be okay without it and save some money.  Of course, my symptoms began to return shortly there after.

  They weren't bad at first and I really didn't notice too much of a change, but as time went on, my mood swings and panic attacks came back full force.  I found myself absolutely miserable, but I didn't think I was the problem, I thought it was everyone around me.  I began acting totally out of proportion to just about everything.  I would yell, scream, start fights, and cry uncontrollably over the smallest things.  My poor husband never knew what he was coming home to, and neither did I.   Because I rapid cycle, there were many days I would start feeling totally normal, and go through cycles of mania and depression and back again, all with little or no provocation at all.  The more time that went by, the worse it got and I began to spend a lot of time in a mixed state, which I find much worse than mania or depression alone.  During these mixed episodes I became excessively paranoid and irritable and angry, but also very tearful and sensitive.  This went on for a few months and continued to worsen and then one day out of nowhere, it occured to me that maybe I should begin taking the seroquel again.  I thought about it for a week or so until I finally decided I needed this medication, and I needed it NOW!  I came home from work in a panic and tore through my house looking for my old prescription information.  When I found it, I took it to the local dr office in my small town and explained what was going on.  She gave me a script and a bunch of samples.  Its been a few weeks now and I am beginning to feel more and more stable every day.  I do, however still have the problem of the cost.  A couple of days ago, I addressed this issue with my dr and he decided to start me taking Depakote, which is much less expensive.  I am still to take the seroquel as needed for anxiety and panic, but it will be less costly as I will be taking fewer.  I have yet to start the depakote and am somewhat nervous as I always am when I start a new medicine, but I have high hopes.