PatientsLikeMe ™

I am just a weird guy that always feels alone even when I'm around others. I love music, especially acoustic music and I am an " aspiring " acoustic guitarist. Some days I get so down I won't even touch my guitar or shave or eat. Some days I over eat. Some days I feel invincible and work all day and come home and work until dark around the house. Some days I think I'm cute. Some days I know I'm the ugliest man on earth. I dream of having a quiet place to live that is just the way I like it; clean and organized. I have a lot of trouble making friends let alone ever having a relationship. 

I got fired from a great job once less than a week after having an anxiety attack at work. I struggle with alcohol, but I hate drinking. I trust noone. I have gone from an average sized guy to 300 pounds to six pack abs to where I am now... twenty pounds overweight. I have attempted suicide once. I don't think I will ever do that again, but I do think about it often. I have little faith in people. I get nervous around girls sometimes. I keep thinking to myself , "This can't last forever." meaning my crappy life, job, loneliness, etc.

I'm here in hopes of finding a mentor, motivation and to motivate.

I may be a negative person, but if anyone else suffers like I do then maybe this will help. They say talking helps, but I believe listening is just as important.