More About lvinsman
I was feeling sensations in my body that I had never experienced before. The thought of going to doctor seemed like a pain, but I thought better safe then sorry. After months of sometimes painful tests and seeing a myriad of doctors, I was told that I had ALS... what's ALS? Not me, I had been very health conscious all my life; this had to be a mistake. Unfortunately I was wrong, YES ME! I remember the feeling I had when I first learned what ALS was and that I might have it. I felt as though the life was sucked right out of me, this had to be a bad dream. In the blink of an eye, my entire world was turned upside down and this was no dream.
Unfortunately in the world of an ALS patient, much of your new life is all about losing things. In my new world, this all started with my voice and since I was in sales, this eventually forced me to end the career I loved in June of 2008. With that loss came another loss, much of my income was now gone as well. I had always been physically active and enjoyed playing a number of sports, and they too went away. Gradually every muscle in my body is getting weaker and what I could do today, I may not be able to do tomorrow. I have always loved good food and cooking has been a passion of mine for years. Trying to be proactive, last year I got a feeding tube, even though I could still eat. As of February 2010, I can no longer eat or drink, and my sole source of nutrition is my feeding tube.
In the fall of 2009, my voice all but disappeared, and I now communicate with either a communication device, or write on one my many Magic Slates. Because I can no longer speak, I find myself doing fewer and fewer things with friends and family. This by far has been my toughest loss to date. I so miss the interaction I have had with my co-workers, my clients, my friends and even with my family to some extent. It feels like my world is getting smaller every day.
My saving Grace has been that wonderful girl I met, Lisa. In 2008 we got married and I honestly don't know what I would do without her, she is a blessing from God. I have always been very self sufficient, but that too is also starting to go away. Lisa for the most part treats me as though nothing is wrong and it feels so good to be around her, she makes me feel like everything is OK. At the same time, at times I feel a bit guilty, is all of this fair to Lisa? Even with her knowing what the future may hold for me, Lisa has been steadfast about standing by my side no matter what and I thank God everyday for having her in my life.
Not everything has been bad; there have been a number of positive things that have resulted from all of this. I have always considered myself to be a good person, but I can honestly say that I am a better person today. All of my priorities in life have changed. Material things are nice, but that joy is very short lived. When you are now looking at life with the perspective that the end may be closer then it used to be, you start realizing what in life is really important. My relationship with Lisa is the greatest asset in my life and it really hurts me that I can no longer say "I Love You." My relationship with Lisa and God is what gives me my strength and my will to keep fighting.
My new goal in life is to Make A Difference! With whatever time I have left, I want to help as many people as I can. Nothing gives me greater pleasure then to help somebody in need, especially somebody that is walking in the same shoes that I am. I have been very active with an ALS organization here in Nevada, and they put a lot of new ALS patients in touch my me, so I can help answer some of their many questions and keep their spirits up, I really enjoy this. I have worked with the MDA, and had My Story on their website last year, and was on the local segment of the MDA Telethon. Last year Lisa and I went to Washington D.C. for ALSA Advocacy Day. Hopefully I can pass along some of the valuable life lessons I have learned in the last three years. Cherish everything and everybody that is important in your life, because in the blink of an eye it can all be gone. Live life with no regrets and live everyday as though it were your last.
In the end, I hope people will say that I did Make A Difference!