middle-aged guy that has dealt with depression on and off for a long, long time. not at my worst, but it's more and more difficult to deal with the emotional issues. My life is really pretty good: 21 yr marriage, a good job that I find interesting, generally respected by my peers ... but I have this cloud over me most of the time. (and then I go manic now and then)

Educated as a pharmacist, spent time as a pharmacist, educator, technical consultant, researcher.  Currently work in Health IT Standards - how healthcare computers talk to each other.  Very interesting work, global in reach but local in application.  Generally respected for my clinical and technical knowledge.  But, I seldom "create physical things".  Specifications, papers and such, but most of the time these words are electronic.

"Creating" things gives me some satisfaction.  Cooking is probably my best therapy:  I like to cook, I like creating new, different, dishes that are satisfying and visually appealing. 

Trying to get healthier - going to a gym to get some physical activity.  I spend a lot of time in front of computers and that's not good for my mood or my health. 


Time is my biggest problem.  Never seems to be enough time to do what I want/need to do.  On the other hand, I procrastinate, so I make a lot of time problem myself. 

Nov 2008 - Recently by boss changed the "rules" - I was able to telecommute a lot, now limited to a max of 1 day/week.  This has the benefit of getting me in the office to be around people, but the people in my office aren't in my department so there is little to no communication.  The biggest problem is that losing telecommuting has made it almost impossible to get to the gym.  not that i really enjoyed the gym, but the physical activity was helping to burn off some tension.

early Jan 2009 - managing to get into the gym once, maybe twice a week.  found a location for my gym near my office.  convenient but usually very busy.  a friend that lives near work has joined the same gym chain.  we're going to go together and see if that will motivate both of us to do more.  Still need to convince my boss to let me telecommute at least 2 days/week.

April 2009 - still not getting to the gym, even 1 day/wk is a major accomplishment.  Went to the gym with my friend a couple of times, but our schedules don't really mesh well.  Bigger problem has been headaches - morning, afternoon, evening - weekdays and weekends.  Been to a couple of doctors, various tests - all (boringly) normal. Meds added with little effect, only hydrocodone+ibuprofen sometimes helps.  Latest thing is dropping caffiene: no coffee (reg or decaf), only caffeine-free teas and soft drinks, and very limited chocolate (I CANNOT give up chocolate completely)