Well, he's always been mean. I don't know why I care that he left. I think it's because I was so trusting because outside the house he was so noble and honest. Now I see that for years he was dishonest with me, that his rage was at least in part because he had to come home when he wanted to be with someone else. I was so stupid. I thought after 31 years I was safe, that he would mellow out with age and after retirement (still 15 years away.) The day before he left he screamed that he was tired of living with crazy people. HIs oldest son, step-mother, and I all have manic depression. I just don't want to do this anymore. My oldest kids are adults. I still have an 8 yr. old at home, but her brother could get custody based on his and the other's testimonies of the abuse they've suffered. He and his wife are much better parents than I've ever been. We've already talked about this. If I get a job, the spousal support he pays me goes down by the same amount, so why bother. When the youngest reaches 18, I'll lose that support, his lawyer wants to have the court stipulate that I have to go to work then and my support will go down by 1200 a month (or more). His salary last year was $261,000. He bought a 460,000 house and I'm living in a 50 year old house on 30+yr. old carpet that smells. I'm supporting two adult children (college age) and my 8 yr. old in the most expensive part of the US on less than $50,000 a year. The only good I'm doing is keeping a house over their heads. So thanks for your encouragement, but it's like a drop in the ocean. I'm sorry to complain so.