I have an intense fear of abandonment which is both real and unreasonable. I hold on to emotionally destructive relationships that I try and rationalize and have a constant fear of healthy relationships leaving me. I struggle with self-image and often degrade my self. Some days I look in the mirror and love how I look and feel confident in my person as a whole and other days I avoid mirrors and spend the day questioning my self worth. I tend to go between thinking my relationships are amazing to devaluing them and almost purposely causing destruction due to my inability to accept that I am worthy of love and happiness. I tend to be emotionally unstable and can go from extreme feelings of happiness to intense anger in a matter of moments with no real trigger. I experience mood swings that tend to be emotionally abuse to those around me. I am guilty of displacement and often direct my anger towards things that weren't the cause of my anger in the first place. I also tend to psychologically project emotions.I have a hard time accepting I am to blame and tend to accuse others of absurd things to justify my own thoughts and actions. I experience intense anxiety over the smallest obstacles and have to pace myself to avoid panic. I require a great deal of support and constant reassurance from loved ones.I experienced a very emotionally and psychologically abused childhood at the hands of my Mother that started from her drug abuse in the womb and continues to last til today. I no longer let her in my life and I have been a happier person because of it. She also suffers from severe mental illness. I have been through emotional abuse, neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and damaging events throughout my life that I hope one day I will learn to effectively cope with so that I can become a happier healthy individual. I wish I had one friend in the world.
My amazing Father
He's my reason for living.
I play online Scrabble for fun and yes.. I would kick your butt!
I'm the kind of girl that likes ice in my milk, pulp in my orange juice, and whiskey in my Coke.
-Loves Framboise Lambec.
-Has a weird obsession with celebrity gossip.
-Coffee fiend. I NEED coffee.
-Is the kind of person to get into a 3 hour discussion on the sexual habits of goats.
-Loves to cook.
-Would like herself and everyone around her to be laughing..constantly.
-Wants to get married and have a family someday.
- Has a diagnosed phobia of spiders.
- Huge computer nerd!
- Horror movie buff.
- Is as cheesy as cheesy gets.
- Has a dry sense of humor.. that can sometimes be offensive.
- Is afraid of the things that go bump in the night.
- Is obsessed with knowledge. Wants to know anything and everything about ALLsubjects. Space, Time, Animals, The Mind, ect ect.